A Tale of Finding My Voice
Eleanor as a youngster.
As a child, I loved to play dress-up and act out in funny ways. I was outgoing, full of life, and always ready to make others laugh. My imagination knew no bounds, and neither did my chatter.
Unlocking the Journey of Finding My Voice!
I want to chat about something a bit more personal than in previous blogs: our voices. Not just the sound that comes out when we talk, but the powerful force behind every word we say, every story we tell.
So, grab your favorite cup of something warm, and let’s dive into this together.
My Voice Journey
A Tale of Too Much?
Remember being a kid and just talking your heart out? That was me. I was all in, chatting away, until... well, the adults around me weren't exactly fans. They even paid me to keep it zipped. Ouch, right? My little young self got the message loud and clear: "You’re too much." “No one wants to hear what you have to say.” “Why can’t you just sit down and be quiet like a ‘good little girl.’”
Fast forward to adulthood, and those messages? They stuck around. Especially when I'm up speaking in front of people, a little voice in my head whispers, "Who really wants to hear what you've got to say?"
But here's the twist: I found out my voice actually matters. And yours does too.
The Shadow of Shame
One thing I’ve learned in my work as a counselor is how deeply shame can affect us. That little voice telling me to be quiet wasn’t just an annoyance; it was rooted in shame. Shame tells us we’re not enough, that our voice doesn’t matter. It’s a powerful force, but here’s the good news—it can be overcome.
In my journey, understanding and confronting that shame was crucial. I had to dig deep and recognize that those early messages were wrong. My voice wasn’t too much; it was just right. It was a part of me that deserved to be heard.
Shame can silence us in so many ways. It makes us question our worth and doubt our value. But when we start to challenge those shame-filled messages, we can begin to reclaim our voice. I've written more about overcoming shame in my previous blog posts and how recognizing and confronting shame is a crucial step in the healing process.
Finding My Tribe
Have you ever walked into a room and felt an immediate sense of belonging, like these people finally get you? That was my experience when I first walked into a Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters International is a nonprofit organization that helps people improve their communication, public speaking, and leadership skills. It was in this supportive environment that I realized my directness and passion weren’t flaws—they were strengths.
It was like discovering I had been speaking French all along, and suddenly I found myself surrounded by fellow French speakers. I wasn’t too much; I was exactly what I needed to be.
Speaking up, whether at Toastmasters or a local conference, transformed from my biggest fear to my "heck yes" moment. It was both terrifying and exhilarating, but it also felt incredibly empowering.
Embracing and Sharing
This journey of mine? It’s taught me a ton about embracing my voice and just how powerful it can be. Whether I’m counseling, speaking, or writing my book, I’ve learned that my voice is exactly as it needs to be.
And I want to share that with you. It’s not just about talking; it’s about connecting, sharing your truth, and, yeah, sometimes shaking while you do it. But that’s okay.
Our Voices as Superpowers
Here’s what I’ve come to believe: Our voices, with all their quirks, are superpowers. Mine. Yours. Everyone’s. And I’m all in on this journey of not just speaking but speaking with purpose, passion, and authenticity.
So, I encourage you to reflect on your own voice. Have you been hiding it? Have you let shame keep you quiet? It’s time to break free from that. Your voice is powerful. It’s unique. It’s needed.
Wrapping It Up With a Bow (or a Mic?)
Thanks for letting me share my story. Now, I’d love to hear yours. How are you embracing your voice? Let’s keep this conversation going because, trust me, it’s one worth having.
Remember, it’s not just about talking; it’s about connecting, sharing, and being unapologetically you. Let’s speak with purpose, passion, and authenticity.
Sign Up for the Shame Quiz
To help you on this journey, I’ve created a shame quiz to help you identify and confront the shame that might be holding you back. It’s a great first step towards reclaiming your voice. Sign up here to get the quiz sent directly to your inbox.
Catch you next time!
With all the warmth (and a bit more wisdom),
~ Eleanor
P.S. For those struggling with shame, check out my 4 part blog series on shame; Shame Defined, Shame and Trauma, The Shame Cycle, and Overcoming Shame. Together, we can find the strength to speak our truths and embrace our voices.
