New Year, New Hope

“Where the flowers bloom, so does hope.” – Lady Bird Johnson

The New Year creates new hopes and new emotions in the heart of almost every human being alive. What is it about the New Year that brings about this idea of a new hope? For many, it is a natural ending of one year and a hope that the next one will be better. People tend to be optimistic about the newness of the New Year. They desire to “leave their past behind” and “become a new me”?

 What makes January 1 of any year so different that January 31 or February 1? In years past, I, like many across the nation, have made New Year’s resolutions. Sometimes to lose weight, get healthier, spend more time with loved ones, read more consistently, etc. Some have “worked” but many do not last past January 31. Many researchers state that at least 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail.

5 Common Reasons New Year’s Resolutions Fail

1. Setting unrealistic expectations

2. Overly ambitious mindset

3. Not being specific when setting the goal (i.e. too broad)

4. All-or-nothing mentality

5. Focus on achieving a goal instead of building healthy habits

Not only do these resolutions often fail, but sometimes they can actually be harmful. Such resolutions are based on negative emotions, things about yourself with which you aren’t satisfied or happy. While they may seem motivating at first, they actually create feelings of anxiety, decreased self-worth, and feelings of shame. This focus on negative feelings seldom provides long-term motivation or change.

Another problem with those “absolute” resolutions is that they set you up for failure. They start based on issues you don’t like about yourself and then present a good opportunity for you to fail, therefore helping to lower your self-esteem even more. While most of us don’t make a resolution planning not to achieve it, the reality is that we often don’t reach our ambitious goals.

A major problem with most New Year’s resolutions is that they focus on the goal and not on the process. What if this year you change things up and set an intention and not a goal or resolution? When setting intentions, take a moment to consider what your values are i.e. family, Authenticity, Courage, Friendship, Mindfulness… For example, if I value my family, I may not set an intention that would prevent me from spending time with them. Write your intentions down daily, monthly, and yearly and reflect on them. Check-in with yourself, “Do these intentions still align?” Changing intentions is a natural process because we grow and attain more information with time.

7 Things to Consider When Setting an Intention

1. What is my ‘why’?

2. Is it attainable?

3. Is this the best use of my time right now?

4. Will it have a positive effect on my life?

5. What will it take for me to set an intention?

6. What small steps can I take to set an intention?

7. How will setting an intention help me?

There are many benefits of setting intentions. Here are just a few.

•  Helps us develop healthier relationships with ourselves by setting goals that are aligned with our values.

• Helps you develop a better sense of self-awareness

• Helps you set goals that you actually reach (teaching you to trust yourself!)

• Helps us see what’s important in setting the right intentions for ourselves based on careful reflection rather than impulsivity or destructive thought patterns.

• Helps you work on your strengths and weaknesses rather than focusing on your weaknesses alone. Providing a path of growth and flexibility.

• Helps motivate us because we are working on something that we value in the hope of improving the quality of our lives.

So what does an intention look like? Here are some examples:

1. I will move every day.

2. I will read more books.

3. I will eat food that energizes me.

4. I will tackle the hardest thing on my to-do list first.

5. I will release negative thoughts.

6. I will set boundaries with kindness and respect.

7. I will listen to understand and not respond.

8. I will be mindful and present.

9. I will speak up about my needs and what makes me uncomfortable.

10. I will speak kindly to myself in all situations, knowing that I am doing the best I can.

 As I close, I would like to leave you with a quote from a poet, Juansen Dizon, “I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.” Simply put, each day brings its very own New Hope, be intentional.